A little about me.

Since this is the very first entry of this blog, I think it's necessary to tell you a little about me.

As an initial matter, I think this is as good a time as any to point out that I think the word "blog" is somewhat retarded. Or I would, if words themselves could be retarded. So, I suppose it would be more correct to state that I think the people who use the word "blog" are retarded, particularly if they use it as both a noun and a verb. And that probably includes you. I'm looking forward to when "blog browsing" is shortened to "blowsing."

But enough about all of that. Let's move on to the really important stuff. Namely, me.

I'm the universal measuring stick. I stand 6'2" and weigh about 180 lbs. If you need that in metric measurements, feel free to use google.com. If you're a guy and you're shorter than I am, you're essentially a midget. If you're taller than I am, you're freakishly tall. If you're heavier, you're a fat pig. If you're lighter, you're a puss.

If you're not as smart as I am (and, let's face it, you're probably not), you're an idiot. In the unlikely event that you're smarter than I am, you're some kind of genetic mutant who probably doesn't have any friends.

If you're not as good-looking as I am, you're a diseased troll. If you're better-looking than I am, you're probably gay.

I could go on, but the point should be clear. I'm not perfect, because I'm a mere mortal. I am, however, probably better than you.

No go forth and enjoy what you laughingly refer to as your life.